


five times zack tried to tell billy how he felt (and one time billy told him)

by towokuwusatsuwu



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Canon Autistic Character, Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Kissing, M/M, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 06:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17657915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: what it says on the tin. post-canon power rangers '17.





	five times zack tried to tell billy how he felt (and one time billy told him)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [authenticaussie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/authenticaussie/gifts).



The first time Zack attempts to confess to him, Billy feels like his conscious mind is trying to slide out of his body and away from this cafeteria and its sheer, overwhelming volume.

If it had been someone else, maybe they would have noticed the way Zack had been looking at them all day like he was dying to speak, something caught on the very tip of his tongue that he can’t quite spit out. Billy’s brain feels like it’s going a few different directions today and he should, admittedly, still be working on what looks like that mean, but by the time he makes it to lunch, part of him is exhausted, and the volume level is simply too high for him to handle it. His fingers are tapping against the top of the table for some kind of distraction, debating whether or not he wants to bolt. Not sure he could explain to the others if he really had to, wondering if he could make them understand it.

Because Zack is looking at him, he sees it. His voice is pitched so low that it thrums through Billy’s eardrums and it feels like a soft texture somehow. “Hey, you wanna get out of here? Kinda hard to hear each other talk with all this noise.”

Intellectually, Billy knows there is most likely a football game tonight, something for the school to gather around and be excited about. But it gets beneath his skin today, and he doesn’t begrudge anyone their excitement, but it’s  _ hard _ and Zack is talking to him. Oh.

“Sorry, what?” He leans closer, forcing his hand to stop, shoving it down under his leg.

Zack’s eyebrows twitch slightly, and he thinks he sees… Something soft in Zack’s eyes, not quite identifiable before it slips away again. “You wanna get out of here? It’s so loud.”

“Oh. Yeah, definitely.” Billy is already picking up his bag, glad to have an excuse.

Leaning forward, Zack taps the top of the table. “Hey guys, we’re gonna go out in the hall or something. See you guys in detention, okay?”

Billy guesses the others must not mind the sound so much but as soon as they walk out into the hallway, the cafeteria door shutting behind him, he feels butter. The volume is greatly muffled by the doors and some of the tension drains out of his shoulders, his brain feeling less foggy and more where it should be. But Zack just takes him gently by the elbow and leads him further down the hallway until the sound is almost unnoticeable, dropping down on one of the benches in front of the wide display windows overlooking the parking lot.

“Is this better?” he asks, and Billy nods, sitting down next to him, letting his back rest against the glass. It feels cool through his jacket and t-shirt, relaxing. “I’m glad.”

Slowly, Billy tilts his head, resting his cheek against the cool glass, watching it fog up when he exhales. “Thanks. It was. It was not a good feeling, let me tell you.”

“Yeah?” Zack looks at him, dark eyes meeting his and Billy wonders when it became easier to maintain eye contact with him. Maybe it’s because there is nothing demanding in Zack’s gaze, nothing searching. Only softness there, compassion, the occasional spark of adventure. He gives, but in a way Billy can handle. “Glad we got out of there, then.”

He has homework he could work on so Billy unzips his bag, pulls the correct binder out, and folds his legs beneath him so he can use his lap as a desk. To his surprise, Zack is quiet next to him. All of the simmering bubble of his personality seems to be at low heat today, something that Billy notices because how could he not? Once you become a superhero with somebody and bond on a team-deep level, you start to notice the little things. He keeps telling himself it’s a sign of progress just the same, to be proud of himself.

When he opens his mouth to say something, though, he stops. Zack has moved his head, the back of it against the glass, tipped back just a little, eyes fluttering shut. The corners of his lips twitch up in a slight smile. And sometimes Billy has trouble reading moods but right now he can tell how content Zack is right here, his body relaxed.

So he says nothing and works on his homework, the quiet between them companionable enough that he feels slightly energized by the time the bell signalling the end of lunch rings through the hall. The sound of it doesn’t jar him at all; rather, he’s been listening for it, sliding his homework into his binder, carefully completed, and zipping his bag shut right before it goes off. A smile touches his lips.  _ Got it this time. _

Zack stands, stretches his arms over his head. “You feeling better now?”

“A lot better.” He hasn’t really explained it that well because some of the smaller aspects of it are just… How could he? And in a way that could be easily understood by those around him. “Thanks, man, for doing that for me. Really. It means a whole lot.”

“It’s not always easy to ask for the things you want,” Zack says, shouldering his bag. “Maybe I don’t get everything, but I get that aspect a little. Wanna walk to class?”

Billy flashes him a smile. “Yeah, man.” Maybe he doesn’t have to explain it to Zack.

Zack drops him off at the door of his classroom, hesitating in the space for a moment, looking thoughtful, like he wants to say something, lips pressed together, brows furrowed. He opens his mouth, and Billy waits. In the end, Zack merely shakes his head, smiling fondly, and tips him a nod before he continues down the hall to his own class.

Billy doesn’t think about it too hard. If Zack has something to tell him, he will.

💙🖤💙🖤💙

The second time Zack attempts to confess to him, he tries a more traditional route.

As it turns out, he thought he could handle saying it out loud and then promptly tripped over his words every time Billy properly looked at him. It was  _ stupid, _ how easy it was to get all tied up in those puppy dog eyes and then forget what he was going to say or swallow the words down because what if Billy rejected him? It would be weird. They were friends and they were  _ Power Rangers _ together, so making the relationship weird by confessing and then being rejected was just… How would he even explain that? He was  _ not _ going to deal with Trini teasing him about it either because he knew she would kill for the opportunity.

So he sits in the computer lab one day and researches when he should probably be working on his presentation. Jason seems to be working just fine, though, so Zack lets him do this thing and plays around on Google, waiting for some kind of clear answer to pop up.

He finds one helpful link, sends it to his own phone, and then orders it while he’s on the way to his next class. It takes a week to actually show up to his house, a tiny and discreet package that his mother has in her hands when he walks in to check on her one day. Had she gotten up to get it herself? It was possible. It was also possible Trini brought the box in when she dropped by at some point today. He’d gotten the text and he wondered if she just liked being in a house where an adult treated her like a competent human being.

“What is this?” his mother asks him, holding up the small cardboard box. “It has your name on it. Did you order something out of a magazine?”

Zack shakes his head, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “No, I ordered it online. It’s for Billy. I think he’s going to like it. I mean, I  _ hope _ he’s going to like it.”

He opens the box and shows her the small black cube with the blue accents on it, his heart thudding pathetically fast now that he can properly look at it. The small joystick on top, the buttons and switch, the little gears. Sometimes, he sees Billy tapping the edge of his desk, or clicking a pen, and other students complain, but maybe… Maybe this can help. He  _ hopes _ this can help, that he isn’t overstepping in his boundaries with this.

His back against Billy’s locker, Zack waits for him the next Monday. When he sees him coming, he pushes himself off of it, flashes him a grin. “Hey, I got you a present.”

“Oh?” Billy tugs an earbud out of his ear and Zack wonders if he’s been listening to music or if he’s just using it to help ease the noise. “Really? You got me something?”

“Yup.” Zack shifts his weight from one foot to the other, retrieving the cube from the front pocket of his jeans, keeping his fingers curled around it. “Close your eyes and hold your hand out. You trust me, right? I  promise it’s really cool.”

There is a moment where Billy just studies his face and Zack starts to quiet, wondering if he might have said something wrong. But then Billy nods once and smiles, closes his eyes and holds his hand out. And Zack is like  _ whoa, he does trust me _ and it takes his brain half of a second to remember to put the damned cube in Billy’s hand. He sets it there with purpose, the smooth side against his palm so he can’t tell from that alone.

“Here it is,” he says, and waits for Billy to look at it.

Slowly, Billy opens his eyes and looks down at his palm, and then his eyes widen slightly. He turns the cube around in his hand, fingers brushing over the different accents before he looks up at Zack. “This is a fidget cube. I was thinking about getting one of these.”

“I know sometimes people, like… Say things.” Zack shrugs a shoulder as if to say  _ you know I don’t care _ because he doesn’t. He never has. “I thought maybe this’d help? So you can play with this in class and it’s kinda small and quiet so you don’t have to worry about people making you feel awkward about it. You were gonna get one?”

“Yeah. I was overthinking it, but I totally wanted one.” Billy turns the cube around in his hand, and his smile is quiet and small. “Hey, it’s black and blue. That’s cool.”

“Yeah, like, it’s us.” Zack is so absurdly proud of himself. He picked out a present Billy actually  _ likes, _ how cool is that? He’s so happy.

He isn’t expecting it just the same when Billy leans in, slips an arm around his shoulders to pat him on the back in a one-armed hug that punches the air right out of his lungs, leaves him flailing for just a moment before he gives himself a small shake.  _ Get a hold of yourself and tell him, idiot. He likes it. He  _ likes _ it, so do what you were going to do already. _

He totally should. Telling Billy would be so easy, right? But the moment he opens his mouth to do it, Trini half-crashes into his side, laughing in his ear.

“Sorry, man.” She pulls herself off of him and Zack dusts off his shoulder, arching an eyebrow at her. “Tripped! Not my fault. Hey, Billy, what do you got there?”

The moment passes and Zack thumps his head against the lockers, disappointed in himself even though he sees the way Billy smiles as he turns to show Trini the cube. At least that worked out, and that’s foundation, right? Probably. Probably not. It’s too hard to think through all of these things, he needs a clear plan to figure this out.

But for now, Billy is happy. That definitely has to count for something.

💙🖤💙🖤💙

The third time Zack tries to confess to him, Billy asks him to come to a museum exhibit with him. It’s in the city and it’s quite a long bus ride, but the exhibit is on prehistoric animals and it makes him think of their power coins and their bond as Power Rangers and he gets so stupidly excited about it that he doesn’t think twice about asking. Trini and Kim have a date planned already but plan on meeting up with them after, and Jason has to head out of state to visit family, but Zack agrees to take the bus with him, which is great.

The museum itself is massive and beautiful, the architecture impressive, all stone and glass and Billy swoons just slightly looking up at it, tracing the lines of its construction. Zack stops next to him, glancing up at the building, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Modern aesthetic is so interesting,” Billy tells him, and Zack hums, cocking his head. “I mean, like, the glass and metal and stone look, it’s such an interesting contrast? Because stone and metal are so strong, or we think of them as strong, but glass is typically so much more fragile, but then you consider how processed metal and glass are compared to stone, which is usually naturally-occurring. I mean, they do have processed stone, but— Sorry. I just realized I’m doing the thing again. I didn’t mean to do that.”

He tries to ignore the way his face heats up with the realization, the moment he picks up on the fact his mouth and brain are running away with themselves without stopping to think about the fact Zack did not  _ ask _ and most likely does not care, because who stands around and asks about the construction of buildings? But to his surprise, Zack instantly shakes his head, and his hand is heavy and warm on Billy’s shoulder.  _ Whoa, that’s… Whoa. _

“Hey, listen,” he says, “you can talk to me about anything you wanna talk to me about. It’s cool, the way you get excited about stuff, and that’s how I can learn, right? So share away, my man. I’m all ears. I’m kinda hoping you’re gonna tell me about all the stuff we’re about to go see because I don’t know all that much about it in a like, technical sense.”

Billy thinks  _ wow he’s perfect _ and chases that thought out of his mind as soon as he thinks it because  _ who thinks that? Who thinks that, Billy? _ “You really want me to? I mean, I will.”

“Definitely.” Zack smiles at him, all teeth. “Teach me, my man. I wanna  _ learn _ and you’ve got this way of talking about stuff where, like you get excited, and it just makes me wanna hear more about it. Like I get excited! So yeah. Definitely teach me whatever you can.”

Part of Billy can’t help but think of this as some kind of trap, but the urge to  _ talk _ is there once they start moving through the museum, looking at the different fossils and skeletons on display, the artifacts and imprints of footsteps and bones, the amber. Before he can help it, he’s talking. Zack never asks him to stop. Zack never laughs at him.

He thinks vaguely about the idea of marriage proposal when Zack actually starts asking him questions, which is basically the best thing that could ever happen to him.

Kim and Trini join up with them, holding hands, and Trini flashes them a wide smile. “Let’s get this dino double date on. C’mon, show us all the cool stuff. We’re excited to see it.”

_ Double date? _ Billy scoffs but then wonders and then scoffs, but…  _ But what if? _ “Sure, we’ll show you where we just left off. We can go through again if you want to.”

“I’m game.” Zack playfully punches him on the shoulder, his grin infectious, his eyes lit up. “I know stuff this time. Now we can tell them about all of this cool shit together.”

He listened. Billy pretty much doesn’t know how to process that when they go back through and Zack actually  _ does _ demonstrate that he’s been listening the entire time, helping Billy explain things, explaining them in ways Billy wouldn’t have thought to. It’s intensely interesting and he appreciates Zack all over again, in more ways than one.

He’s been spending a  _ lot _ of time appreciating Zack lately, actually.

They stop in the gift shop on the way out and Zack stops in front of one table, quickly gesturing Billy to come closer. “Look at this, dude. They’ve got little skeleton models you can buy and build. You wanna get some? You like puzzles and stuff, right?”

Billy… Billy  _ does _ like puzzles. “Absolutely. Let’s get them, then!”

They all take a bus back home and Kim and Trini lean on each other, Kim dozing off on Trini’s shoulder. Billy doesn’t think anything of it until Zack’s head lands on his and he freezes, tilting his head just slightly to see that Zack has fallen asleep as well, eyes shut, lashes feathered over his cheekbones and  _ wow has he always been so handsome? _

_ This is fine, _ Billy thinks, turning back to the triceratops puzzle in hand.  _ It’s okay. _

He wakes Zack up just before they get to the bus stop and he’s instantly apologetic. “Fuck, Billy, I’m sorry. I totally stayed up way too late last night, didn’t expect to just doze off and  _ on you, _ shit. You good? I hope you can feel your shoulder.”

“There’s nothing in your head, Zack,” Trini tells him patiently. “So he’ll be okay.”

Billy nods, patting his shoulder. “I’m all good, no worries. We’re friends, right? It’s cool.”

Zack opens his mouth like he wants to say something and then shuts it again, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah,” he says with a nod, “we’re friends.” But it seems like that, maybe, wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. Billy is stumped.

💙🖤💙🖤💙

The fourth time Zack tries to confess to him, he invites Billy to his house. His mother is fine with it and he texts Billy’s mother the directions while he works in the kitchen, singing softly under his breath as he studies the pasta in the pot on the stove. Is this fine? The directions say this is fine, so Zack assumes he must be doing something right. If all else fails, Billy would know how to cook it when he go there, right? But Zack wants to surprise him and  _ Christ, _ he’s so head over heels it isn’t even funny anymore.

A soft knock on the door comes just as he drains the pasta in the sink, and he calls out over his shoulder, “It’s unlocked, Billy! Come on in, I’m just in the kitchen.”

“You sure?” Billy calls out, and Zack smiles softly at the sound of his voice. “I don’t want to— Oh, you’re cooking, that’s why you couldn’t get the door. What are you cooking?”

“Pasta. It’s the first time I’ve really had to make it, though. At least this kind.” He taps the screen of his phone when it tries to dim on him, consulting the directions. “I swear the recipe says this is normal but I’m not sure. Do you want to check?”

“Pasta?” Billy stills where he stands at the kitchen table, his bag half off of his shoulder. As Zack watches, it slips out of his hand and thumps to the floor, making both of them jump. “Sh— Oops! Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Um, why are you making pasta?”

The way he stops himself from swearing always makes Zack smile just a little but he shakes his head, patting his hands dry on the apron he’d thrown over his clothes, not keen on splashing hot water on himself. “You said that was pretty much all you were eating this week, right? So I figured I could probably make it. Your mom sent me the recipe.”

“Oh.” Billy stares at him for a very long time and then gives his head a shake. “Yeah, I can check it. Um, is it in the strainer still? Yeah, let me just. Yeah. I can. I got it.”

Zack swallows the slight lump in his throat and goes through the motions of setting the table, getting a third plate out for his mother because today has been a bad day for her, and he knows she is likely too weak to get up out of bed. He watches Billy out of the corner of his eye as he checks the pasta, then carefully dumps it back into the pot, every motion practiced and careful. He sets the pot on the stove, on an eye that isn’t hot anymore, and before Zack can say anything, starts spooning the sauce onto it.

Maybe he gets a little weird and fluttery in his chest but he doesn’t  _ say _ anything about it.

“Is your mom eating with us?” Billy asks him, carefully dividing the food between the three plates, and it looks nearly perfect to Zack, which is impressive. Billy never stops being a cool dude to him, it seems. “I know you said she’s not always up for it.”

“She’s having a bad day so I’m going to take her food to her,” Zack says, picking up one of the plates, a bit stunned when Billy takes it from him. “Oh, hey, I can—”

“We both can,” he says firmly. “I mean, like… I wanna meet your mom? You’ve met mine.”

Zack wants to  _ die. _ “Okay, I guess you’re gonna meet my mom. Um, she doesn’t speak English, but I can play translator pretty well. Hope that’s not a problem or—”

“No. It’s definitely not a problem.” Billy smiles at him. “So let’s go ahead and meet her.”

His mother looks surprised when Billy comes into the room but Zack explains as clearly as he can, helping her set the tray up on her lap, helping her sit up. Billy sets the plate down and introduces himself, and Zack’s mother smiles a knowing smile that makes chills run up and down his spine because now she  _ knows. _ And she lets him have it, too.

“This is the boy you like?” she asks him, and he tries to ignore the way his cheeks grow hot at the question. “He seems very nice, Zack. You’ve made a really good decision.”

Oh,  _ Christ. _ “Thanks Mom.” He looks at Billy, flashes him a circle with his thumb and finger. “She says you’re cool, my dude. So, how about you try my amazing culinary skills?”

They sit at the table and maybe it feels strangely intimate to be sitting alone with the guy he has a crush on in his kitchen where the only real light source is the sun that’s slowly starting to set. Zack didn’t plan it like that, okay, he just didn’t think to turn on a light and just getting up to turn one on when he can see perfectly well seems strange. And maybe he holds his breath a little too long when Billy takes the first bite, but his heart fucking  _ slams _ into his ribs so hard he thinks they creak in protest when Billy grins at him.

“You’re going to have to send me the sauce recipe,” he says immediately, “because there’s something about it that’s really, like, earthy? It’s so good, I’m really into it.”

Zack thinks that if they ever ended up happily married like they damn well  _ should _ then he’s going to learn to cook  _ all the things _ for Billy. “You got it. I’ll text it to you after dinner.”

It’s Saturday, but they have homework, and Billy insists on getting that done before they sit down for a night of video games, and Zack is fine with that. He sucks at math but Billy has this way of explaining it that works for him, and together they get through it pretty fast. It’s not even full dark by the time they drop down on the living room floor with controllers in hand, the console booted up and ready to go.

He wants to tell him. He  _ does. _ Between rounds, the words just never come out.

💙🖤💙🖤💙

The last time Zack tries to confess to him, he comes over to Billy’s house after Billy asks him if he might not mind coming over to help him get his room in order. He doesn’t really know why he’s being asked but any chance to hang out with Billy is a good one, and he’s already told himself that if he doesn’t do it this time, he’s never going to do it. So he walks up to Billy’s bedroom door and knocks on it, and when he opens it, he totally gets it. Billy’s room is all kinds of disaster right now, and he looks just a bit strained by it.

“So,” he says, bringing his hands together as he walks into the torrent of the tornado, “I’ve been trying to clean my room a few days and it’s not going so well.”

Zack nods, hanging his jacket up on the door knob. “I can see that. So what’s up?”

“Feels like it’s hard to just… Focus on one task and get it one when I have to do like twenty more after it.” Billy rubs the back of his neck, then sighs in a way that says he’s about to say something he doesn’t want to. “It’s called executive dysfunction. You mean to do something, but like, you can’t? You just can’t? And stuff just starts piling up.”

That… Makes sense. “So when you couldn’t do one thing, you went to do another thing, but that didn’t work? I totally get how it could have gotten like this.”

“Usually, I don’t ask people for help because like, what teenager needs help cleaning his own room, right? That’s ridiculous.” Billy laughs, but there is no humor in the sound. “But like, you’ve been really good about understanding things? So I just, I was like, I bet Zack could help and wouldn’t say anything weird about it even though it’s weird, and—”

Gently, Zack cuts him off, resting a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I get it,” he says, “well, as much as I can get it. So I’ve got an idea, it works for me when I clean my room because I’m like, awful about it? Let’s make a list of things to do.”

“A list,” Billy says, inclining his head slightly. “That might not be a bad idea.”

Zack smiles at him, picks up a notebook and a pen from his desk, careful not to disturb anything else on its surface. His heart speeds up just a little when he sees the tiny skeletal puzzles pieced together and displayed on Billy’s desk, holy  _ shit _ does his heart race like this is some sappy romance novel. “Let’s make a list and we can break it down.”

“Into smaller, more manageable task?” Billy asks him, and Zack nods. “I can do that.”

“Yeah.” Zack perches on the edge of his mattress, careful not to disturb the mountain of clothes there. “Not so bad, right? And then we can do each task together and talk about things while we’re doing them so you don’t gotta focus real hard on them.”

Within about thirty minutes of breaking down tasks, they have an organized list, and Zack color codes it with highlighters to make it more visually appealing and then they stick it to the closet door so they can mark things off as they go. Laundry first, getting the dirty downstairs into the laundry room and then folding and hanging up clean clothes. He asks Billy about the puzzles and Billy launches into how he wants to buy crystal puzzles he saw at the store the last time he went, really into being able to display them.

By the time the sun is setting, the room is clean and they both drop down on the bed, exhausted but proud of a job well done. Zack… Maybe doesn’t realize he’s doing it until he does it, reaching for Billy’s hand, catching it in his own, just liking how that feels.

“Zack?” Billy’s voice seems almost distant. “You realize you’re holding my hand?”

“Huh?” Zack tilts his head, sees this, freezes. “Oh. Oh sorry, I. Hmm. I just.”

He should definitely tell him, right? Tell him how he feels about him, and then deal with the reaction whether it happens to be positive or negative. That would be the adult and mature thing to do, and Billy trusts him, so like… Maybe Zack is being ridiculous, and Billy will like him back, and all of his worrying and planning has been ridiculous.

No. Not ridiculous. Never ridiculous. Because it was worth it all those times Billy smiled.

“So, like.” Zack swallows past the lump in his throat. Why does it have to be  _ hard? _ “So I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while now and I’ve been so bad about it.”

Billy raises an eyebrow at him, but he doesn’t take his hand back, which is good, right? “What is it? Is it something bad? I didn’t upset you or something, did I?”

Slowly, Zack shakes his head. He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders, opens his mouth, falters again and swallows back the uncomfortable wave of emotion that threatens to choke him.  _ Just tell him, and trust him to be a good guy about it no matter what. _

“I’m into you,” he says, openly, honestly. “I really like you. I dunno, I just, you’re great? In all ways? You’re so nice and considerate and fun to be around and I just, I like being around you. I wanna be around you all the time, but like, not in a creepy way.”

“Like. Like in a romantic way?” Billy asks him, and Zack hesitates for a long moment before nodding. “Oh. I. Okay. Um. Can I. Can I have some time to think about that?”

“Yeah! Yeah, I, uh.” Zack lets go of his hand, jumps up. “I’ll just, uh, go home, or—” And he bolts out of the door, willing himself not to look back because  _ oh fuck I just fucked up. _

💙🖤💙🖤💙

The day Billy confesses to Zack is the next evening. He goes over Zack’s words over and over again, rethinking them, looking for the truth in them and then deciding Zack must be telling him the truth. And then he looks at his desk, at the fidget cube and the puzzles and thinks  _ duh, Zack likes you _ and the revelation of it washes over him so totally and heavily that he sits on his floor for a good hour just playing with the fidget cube, retracing his steps, and trying to remember as much as he can. He remembers information pretty well comparatively, and he remembers all the times Zack started to tell him, then stopped.

He remembers Zack’s smile in the hallway, Zack’s head on his shoulder, Zack’s hand in his, and it suddenly makes too much sense and he just. What in the  _ world _ does he do with this?

Billy walks to the store, buys a crystal puzzle, and spends the next half an hour putting it together. The pieces are small and clear and interesting, and it presents a cool challenge that he likes. He definitely wants to get more of them, but for the time being, this one is going to have to do. He agonized over which one to buy, but only for about twenty minutes because he knew, really, in the back of his head, which one he should get.

When he shows up at Zack’s doorstep on his bicycle, night has technically fallen, but it’s the weekend and his mother doesn’t mind him being out so much if he’s with one of his friends. The puzzle had felt oddly heavy in the pocket of his jacket so he zipped the jacket up to try to balance the weight. He’s a little overly warm when he shows up.

He knocks once, twice, then waits for an agonizingly long moment until he hears soft footfalls on the other side of the door. He stares at the door, tells himself to be prepared, that he’s been practicing for this, and he can  _ totally _ do this.

Zack opens the door, looking absurdly tousled and handsome and he’s just wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt, so  _ how? _ “Oh, hey, I… You’re here really late, aren’t you?”

“It’s okay. Can I come in?” Billy touches the puzzle in his pocket and waits.

Of course, Zack lets him in. He’s been playing video games in the living room so the room itself is dark, the light from the screen throwing his features into sharp relief as they sit down on the couch together. Billy practiced plenty of things to say but instead he picks the puzzle out of his pocket, running his fingers over it to make sure every piece is in place, and then sets it in Zack’s open palm and waits for his reaction.

“What’s— It’s a heart.” Zack stares down at the puzzle for along moment, running his fingers over the transparent plastic. “It’s— It’s also blue. Billy, I mean, I just—”

Billy waits for him to cut himself off before speaking. “Like the fidget cube, right? I didn’t get it then. I didn’t get a lot of things. I’m slower on the uptake about stuff like that, and I kinda feel bad about it because I know you wanted to tell me.” He holds up a hand when Zack opens his mouth. “I know I don’t have to feel bad because you’re not upset with me, but still.” He takes a slow, deep breath and tries to sit up straight. “I wanna buy more puzzles with you and go see more cool things and teach you about all this cool stuff and like… I really like you, too, Zack. I’ve not really had crushes on that many people but I’m like, pretty sure this maybe almost qualifies for love territory. So I— I love you.”

Zack stares at him for a moment that feels too long, his eyes wide, his mouth falling open just a little and the noise that leaves his throat is— It’s something. Then he smiles and leans back, head falling against the couch, all the starch leaving his body. Relief?

“You love me back. Oh man, that’s… Fuck, that’s so— I’m so glad.” Zack sits up again, looking down at the heart puzzle in his hand. “I. Is it weird to ask if we can kiss or something?”

“We saved the world together,” Billy says slowly, thoughtfully, “so that’s. Yeah. It’s. Mhm.”

Slowly, Zack sets the heart puzzle down on the coffee table and then turns and looks at Billy, and wow, he is  _ really _ handsome, like in that traditional way that people always loved. He shifts forward just a little and it feels like a sudden, strange urge but Billy gropes for his hands and holds them in his own, feeling Zack’s rough fingers against his own, Zack’s warm skin and remembers how many small, unnoticeable touches there were.

Zack leans forward painfully slowly but Billy knows he’s trying to be considerate, and like, he  _ gets _ it but also he drove all the way here in the middle of the night. So he sucks it up and leans forward the rest of the way, tilting his head very carefully so their noses don’t bump together, careful of where his teeth are because clacking them together might hurt. But Zack’s lips are soft and warm and smooth and  _ wow, _ that’s really nice actually.

He sits there holding Zack’s hands and kissing him for what feels like a million years in the dark, and when Zack leans back to look at him, there’s an interesting quality to his eyes, to the way he smiles. He’s biting at his lips like he’s trying to stop himself and grinning anyway, and maybe Billy feels good about that. That he’s the one making Zack smile like this and man, how  _ long _ has he been this gone without putting all of the pieces together?

Instead of trying to find that answer, he leans forward and kisses Zack again, and this time he dares just a tiny bit more. He biked all the way here, so this is easy, right? Easy to touch the side of Zack’s neck, fingers brushing over where his pulse beats just beneath his jaw, feeling it pick up just a little at the touch of his hand. That’s awesome, Billy thinks. That’s the coolest thing he’s ever felt and he’s going to learn so much more about the human body now because he wants to be able to  _ know _ what Zack is thinking and feeling.

He has to end up crashing on Zack’s couch because he stays  _ way _ too late, but that just means he can kiss him more. Comparatively, that’s just fine.


End file.
